Thoughts About Suffering and Pain

   It's Saturday -- Day Three of my stay here at 5C.  Actually the medical staff calls this day Day (-5).  I entered the hospital on Day (-7) and I receive my stem cells on Day 0.  A technicality I know, but here is yet another instance of using two scales just to confuse one issue -- Celsius vs. Fahrenheit, English vs. Metric, Snapchat vs. Instagram -- it can all get unruly for no apparent reason.
   I have been thinking more about a deeper question though.  It is one that young Christians and non-Christians both ask and needs to be wrestled with by those of us blessed to have known Jesus and his love for a while.  "Why does a good God allow suffering and pain?"  Many authors like C.S. Lewis and Louis Smedes and Henri Nouwen and Thomas Merton have written about this alleged conundrum regarding God's goodness far more eloquently than I will in the next few minutes.  But I wanted to share a few things as chemo is yet again being pumped into me.
   We tend to think that if God is truly in control of all things, we could pray and he could just snap his fingers and whatever we ask for would be granted.  A lot of this thinking is rooted in the wrong idea of who God is.  He is not the "Genie in the Bottle" or the "Santa Claus" who is just waiting to give us whatever we want when we want it.  Many times what we want is not what is right or good or noble or worthwhile.  Then again what we do NOT want, like pain and suffering, we strive to eradicate so our perceived sense of comfort and safety and "cuddly-warm-puppiness" can be again realized.
   Understandably, there are times when pain and suffering seems unbearable.  I remember the grief my sister and her husband endured when their daughter tragically died almost ten years ago.  I remember watching my wife go through breast cancer ten years ago and now she has to watch me go through lymphoma.  I remember the free fall I felt in July, 2000 when two of our summer staff kids at camp were killed in a car-truck accident and a third had to live with the fact that he had been driving and was at fault. This all makes no sense at the time.  We ask,"Why?" as if there was some answer that could be provided to make it all explainable and understandable.  But I also think there is more.  When God allows us to go through hard things, there are benefits if we ever take the time to notice.  We may wonder at the time of noticing such benefits whether they were worthwhile to have learned. Losing a daughter or a spouse or a friend to death or disease simply to learn a lesson does seem like a high price to pay. But perhaps God is not done using that lesson yet.
   So back to the question: "Why does a good God allow suffering and pain?" I will present a few thoughts in bullet points because none of these are well thought out yet and bullet points are more like bite-sized chunks that brains like mine can more easily handle:

• Suffering allows us to draw closer to God.  When I was a boy I would ask my father for help with something only if I did not understand or if a job was too big for me to do alone.  If I could deal with it by myself, I would not have to consult my father.  God wants us to draw close to him. 
• Suffering allows others the privilege of praying, of serving, of blessing, of loving, of recognizing the sovereignty of God and the power only he has.  My Rockford Christian School community has been ridiculous at this and I believe that my illness has been used to make our community even stronger for him.  I know how humbling it is for me when a first grader hugs me and tells me he is praying for me.  This has been God's gift of grace to me.
• Suffering allows us to appreciate the blessings of health to a greater degree and to recall with nostalgia and thankfulness the things that we once did.  Admittedly, like Grandpa's fishing stories, stories of my athletic prowess can become enhanced as the years go by, but I am thankful for those experiences.
• Suffering allows us to re-connect with people that have been important to us in the past and that still care for us and love us even when we do not see them often.  Dave, Boon, Andy, Mike, Mule, Randy, Heidi, Chuck, Tiny...you all know what I mean.  Again, God's grace in action.
• Suffering allows us to look forward to that day when ultimately there will be no suffering.  While I fight for life right now, I also know that something called heaven is waiting for me.  "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved..." (Acts 16:31).  Something greater is waiting for me.  Because of this certainty, hope can rule my attitude.  Another gift from God.
• Suffering allows us to show empathy for others.  Without going through trials ourselves, empathy would be reduced to mere pity and pity doesn't help much.  My friend Tom visited yesterday.  He is a two-time lymphoma survivor and has experienced a stem-cell transplant.  His words and blessings were like pure gold, far more valuable than any chaplain or life coach or relative that has not been down this same road we have traveled and are traveling.  

   "Why does a good God allow suffering and pain?"  Still gonna wrestle with this one a while.  At least I have a start on it for the next time when one of my seventh graders brings up the question.