Connie's Reflections

Hello!  I get to be the guest blogger today.  Before my update on Phil, I thought I would be reflective. Cancer seems to do that to people.  The picture above is just after our engagement 32 1/2 years ago.  We were in California and had just returned from Sequoia National Park where Phil got down on one knee in the middle of a blizzard on the side of a mountain.  Obviously I said yes.  I remember the rest of that day (and for months after) discussing our future life.  Not so much the wedding, but mostly thinking about how we would have the perfect life, the perfect marriage, raise the perfect kids.  We weren't so much interested in having material things and safety and comfort (that just was never us), but we did think we were prepared to impact the world in a huge way and share the love of Jesus with everyone who came along.  Well, those were our plans......

But along the way comes failure.  Personal failure, health issues, grief, loss, rejection, difficulty with child raising, etc.  But also comes great joy and celebration and laughter.  I remember meeting each of our children for the first time and loving them instantly, whether they were bio or adopted.  And the camping adventures......and holidays......and experiencing new jobs and homes and friends.....discovering Romania and Ethiopia.  Through all of these, good and bad times, God has been working in our lives to mold us into people who see the needs around us and react with compassion.  I doubt that we would even notice if everything always went our way.

And we remember HIS promises to us......"I'll never leave you nor forsake you."  "I died for you."  "I'll give you my strength when you have none of your own."  "I will be with you in the valley of the shadow of death."  "I created you with purpose."  "I'm going to make all things new."

So it's OK.  There is a bigger picture.  I don't know if we'll ever understand the whys.   But we have trust in the one who is overseeing EVERYTHING.

The update:  Phil is doing pretty well, other than nausea, lack of appetite, fatigue, some aches and pains, diarrhea, and chemo brain (I am not really noticing the chemo brain but he says he can't focus on things.)  Dr. Fayed was just here and he said it's all normal.  (We really like this guy.  I'm trying to get him to say Michigan is better than California but he hasn't said those words exactly yet.)  The nurses have said there might be worse side effects of chemo ahead yet.  But let's not even think that way.   Please pray that they're wrong......that now Phil can heal and each day get stronger and get discharged in a couple of weeks (which would be the earliest possible).

One more memory......this is us in San Francisco, the year before we were married (I think we're headed out to Alcatraz).  We look pretty carefree, huh?  And pretty 80s too.  I think we're looking at more carefree days ahead.  Post-cancer.  God is not finished with us yet.

Oh, and this is Connie writing today.  Just in case you haven't figured that out yet.......