Waiting for the Truck

   And the "Within One Week" waiting game has begun.  I am within one week for the next round of chemo and feeling fairly good at the moment.  Sure, I still don't sleep well and I get tired quickly but I have been eating fairly well again and don't have the constant nauseous feeling going on inside of me.  While I know I need to be happy for how I am currently feeling, I also know the truck is coming around the corner for the third time and is looking to steamroll me again.  Remember the Roadrunner cartoon on television when Wile E. Coyote turns around and the truck that says "Acme" on the side pancakes the coyote into his grill?  Yup.  Me.
   But let's go.  I need to learn how to be thankful in moments like this rather than anticipating the grief coming around the corner.  We all have grief coming around the corner -- I just happen to be fully aware of when and how mine is going to hit, at least to some degree.  But this is probably one way God protects us from ourselves -- we cannot know the future.  As a kid I used to think it would be wonderful to look into the proverbial crystal ball and know all sorts of things about my own future -- who I would marry, how many kids we would have, what they would be like, where I would work, and even how and when I was going to die.  But that is kid stuff and therefore, if that wish was ever granted to my childhood self, it would take away the need for faith, for allowing God to work through me, for the necessity of my ongoing sanctification, and I think would ultimately lead to despair.  God says that he is all we need.  I need to take him up on that when he tells me and not worry about the future -- even when I think I know what might be coming around the corner.
   The "Within One Week" waiting game has begun, and I need to celebrate the "Four More Days of Feeling Decent" game.  I think I will try.  I think I will go to school tomorrow and do just that.