Dana

   Dana died last night.  Dana is the sister of Mel and Scott, two very dear friends.  She was young (in her forties) but finally succumbed to pancreatic cancer after a year of fighting it.  This hits close to home for a number of reasons.  First of all, I feel so sad for Mel and Scott who have to go through this loss.  Mel's family is wonderfully woven together like a tapestry and are very close. Now they are mandated to go through this season of grief.  At least they have each other, yet grief strains everything.  It stops every other desire, responsibility, duty, and emotion in its tracks.  It doesn't allow one to go on until it chooses to abate a little bit, then it will come up and grab the heart again at an unexpected time in an unexpected way.  God, please help Mel and Scott and the rest of the family to wade through this grief together with you.  Lead them on this journey.
   Secondly, I feel loss because we were praying for her and she did not recover.  While God is sovereign, there are still times I wish I could grab him by the ears and yell, "What are you doing?" This beautiful young mother is taken by this nastiness and there seem to be no obvious answers about why God allows this to happen.  That's probably because there are no obvious answers about why God allows this to happen.  We just don't know.  I am guessing questions like this are seldom if ever answerable on this side of heaven.  We live in a world that when one asks a question, he googles it, and we are offered the answer, the quintessential answer that everyone who might be curious says," Ah...now I get it!"  But there is no app for grief.  It doesn't work that way.  God, while I know you are still sovereign, and while I don't know your reasons for this, I hope you do.  I know you do.  Hold these people close as they also will wrestle with this earthly kind of question.
   But thirdly and selfishly, it was cancer that took Dana.  The evil cancer that my body is fighting afflicted Dana to the point that her earthly life came to an end.  Sure, we each have different forms of the illness, but it is the same ugly, mean, unnerving, "get-back-to-hell-where-you-belong" disease that I am battling.  But Dana does not have cancer anymore.  She is now in heaven with Jesus -- this is not some false hope or general myth.  This is God's word.  As a believer, Dana is in Day One (like it really matters in eternity) of celebration and awe.  My daughter gave me a small booklet by John Piper entitled, Don't Waste Your Cancer.  After quoting 1 Thessalonians 5:9-10 ("God has not destined us for wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died for us so that whether we are awake or asleep we might live with him.") Piper writes in his preface, "That is enough.  I am not destined for wrath, but to live with Christ.  Until we see him, may God help us not waste our health OR our cancer."  This is a good reminder for me and you...every day.
   By the way, Chemo Round Three just finished for me.  We will see what happens from here.  I intend to fight this thing and finish strong.  After all, Dana did.