Stuck In the Here-and-Now

"Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits...

But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord's love is with those who fear him,

and his righteousness with their children's children--

with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts."

                                                                     Psalm 103:1-2; 17-18

   Sometimes I am so "present-oriented" that I just get stuck.  I see and hear and smell and feel and taste what is now, what is right in front of me, what is current.  I have this nasty habit of ignoring - or at the very least, losing track of - the past.  I also do not tend to dwell on the possibilities of the future since they are outside of my control anyway.  The past can get clouded with time and the lessons that should have been learned back then get lost.  The future is yet to be realized and my lack of imagination doesn't help the visionary part of who I should be see further than today.  So I am stuck in the present.
   When this handicap of mine is applied to my physical capabilities, it can get depressing.  The here-and-now results of my cancer and subsequent transplant includes a lack of appetite and a constant exhaustion.  When I move for just a few minutes, I have to sit down and breathe heavily.  I hate that.  But it is my now, my current, my present.  If I was better at remembering how far I have come and gain pleasure and strength in the victories God has allowed me to realize in the past while simultaneously being able to imagine clearly a time in the future when I would be able to walk without tiring and eat to satisfy a deep sense of hunger, the present would not loom so large in my consciousness.
   But this thinking is more debilitating to my spiritual self.  When I am stuck in today, I can have the propensity to forget what God has done for me and through me in the past.  I can minimize his role in my life's story and not see clearly how his hand has guided my life in so many ways.  I may also overlook the power he has as a sovereign God to work in my life next week, next year, down the road.  I see others for who they are now and not always for what they can become through his power and influence.  He will be there as he has promised, ready to bless and lead, but I forget that.  I don't always see it.  Maybe today will be a good day to make adjustments, to refocus and recalibrate.  After all, there's no time like the present.

   "Lord, get my eyes more focused on the past and the future than they are now.  Lessen the importance of this very moment so I can recall what you have done for me in the past and all you will do in the future.  Give me a greater sense of perspective because this will also bring more boldness, appreciation, trust, hope, and courage in what you can do.  Amen."