"Today?"

   "Is today the day?"  Each day I get up and wonder the same thing.  "Is today the day I turn that proverbial corner and start to feel better?"  Today is Day +9 and folks around here claim that things begin to change for a lot of patients between Days +7 through +10.  Usually after Day +10 things start to improve for most folks, but there really is no accurate blueprint that covers the experiences of everyone.  But then again, why not today?  It seems like a beautiful day already -- the sun is shining,  it's a weekend, Kate and Jimmy are here to visit, Steve and Abby will be coming, the Tigers won last night -- all important indicators that today could be the day.
   As I go through this experience, so many lessons have been realized, so much learning had to happen.  I could just sit and dwell in the ugliness of my circumstances.  I cannot eat.  Everything that gets pooped out is loose and I have no way of knowing if that rumbling in my stomach means an eruption is imminent or not.  I get light-headed once in a while.  My lips are chapped and flaky.  Every movement requires so much energy.  I have had the world's worst sore throat for about five days in a row now.  I spiked a fever last night that caused many to be concerned but the temperature is down a little this morning. But when I go through my list of yuckiness, it does me no good.  It only drags down my spirit.  And besides, I don't have to look far around here on 5C to see that others are experiencing similar side effects.
   So then, what?  What do I have to stay optimistic through all of this?  And why is it important?

• I know that I will never have to relive yesterday.  The pain and discomfort and frustration of that day are in the past.  
• I know that I have a great cloud of witnesses cheering me one.  You all have been amazing.  It all provides the power to put one foot in front of the other and not look back.
• I know that I have a Savior who dealt with even more severe circumstances on my behalf and that he comprehends fully all of the frustration I have right now.
• I know how important it is to look forward to better days.  That ability serves as the compass needle that points me in the right direction.  It offers hope when nothing in my circumstances could offer hope.  I can hardly wait.

   I remember when I was a child, we would make plans to go to an amusement park or a Tiger ballgame or some other highly anticipated event and the excitement I would feel before the trip was amazing.  Man, I could hardly wait.  The anticipation itself would take on a life of its own.  I would count down the days (even the hours) until that trip came and the anticipation would just add to the excitement.  "Is today the day?"  I can hardly wait...