Gaining By Losing

   In many realms of life, achievement is often marked by what we acquire -- awards, medals, money, etc. For me today an achievement was marked by what I lost.  I made a return trip to the hospital this morning, but it was a good trip.  I was able to schedule an appointment to get my perma-cath taken out of my chest.  This device with the dangly hoses became a part of me about seven weeks ago to facilitate the comings and goings of transplant and chemo and transfusions and all of that stuff. It was a pain because it was always getting in the way of whatever I was doing, it was not supposed to get wet when I showered, and there was always the potential of infection.  It is good to have this chunk of hardware gone. I have been stripped of this lovely appliance and I feel like in some ways it is a landmark event in my recovery process.
   Less is more.  Remember how for a while there was a battle going on in the T-shirt/bumper sticker industry between two schools of thought: "He who has the most toys wins" vs. "He who has the most toys still dies." Acquisition of stuff means nothing.  In fact, today I feel like I gained by losing.  And don't even get me started on the topic of participation trophies.  My experience will not be measured in awards and medals and trophies.  Instead, my experience should be measured in other ways.  Kindness, empathy, a deeper understanding of the needs of others -- these must be the realized results of this journey.  This experience will leave scars, but there are permanent changes in outlook and attitude also.  But none of this experience can be quantified in awards or prizes.  Good bye, perma-cath.  You will not be missed.  It is good to lose you.