The Importance of Receiving Well

   The little knot of trepidation in my stomach is starting to be noticeable.  It is that same little knot I used to get as a kid before swimming lessons or a piano recital.  It's just those crazy nerves; at least I think that is what it is because the uneasy feeling I usually get from a round of chemotherapy should be gone by now.  But I am on the edge of a big week:  I am going in to school tomorrow for a chance to hang out with my eighth graders, then I have my consult with the stem-cell experts (which is supposed to last for three hours).  Also this week on Thursday, I soak in my sixth and final round of chemotherapy.  While the knot-in-the-stomach feel is not debilitating, it is noticeable.  I know that when I get that feeling I need to cast my cares on to Jesus because he cares for me (1 Peter 5:7).  When I do that, the knot doesn't go away instantly but now at least I am sharing it with someone who is in charge and that makes it easier to handle.
   My school community once again blessed us in a huge way last night with a benefit dinner.  The proceeds of this dinner are to be split between us and Adam's family.  Adam is the father of a pre-schooler who is currently battling his second round of brain cancer.  I am thinking, "Brain cancer!?  That is far worse than lymphoma!  He should have this whole thing to himself!"  But Adam and I were talking.  We each shared with the other how humbling such a journey is and how it is so much easier to reach out to help others than it is to receive help.  He told me of a friend of his who said to him, "Just stop and let us do this.  Today is your turn to receive.  You can bless others by receiving this well."  He is right.  Tomorrow I will bless others by doing.  Today I need to bless others by receiving well.  The turnout was amazing, the food was great (thanks Chad, Katie, and Gavin!) and the love was overwhelming.  Maybe it was the sickness that made me feel so overwhelmed, but I don't think so. The evening certainly had more than a few "weak-in-the-knees" moments.
   It's Sunday evening.  This is usually the time I am finalizing lesson plans for the week and finishing off the grading that didn't get done earlier as I prepare for Monday morning classes.  That will start to happen again, but not quite yet.  Just a little more waiting...and dealing with that little knot in the stomach.  God and I will overcome both.