Death and Introspection

   "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me."  

Galatians 2:20

"For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Jesus Christ our Lord."  

Romans 6:23

      While we each have time on earth, one of the obvious realizations that only fools choose to not evaluate is that all people will eventually die.  When and how we die is the mystery, but the given fact is each will die.  So it is.  Yet when one passes away, it seems to shock and surprise all those around that person.  Now of course, there is the obvious difference between one that dies a sudden or tragic or unexpected death and one that succumbs to a lingering illness after a long life.  Regardless, the actual departure from this world still exhibits a certain finality to it all, a time when "good byes" and "I love yous" are no longer applicable, and that fact can add to the shock of it all.  It makes one think to the old adage, "Everyone wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die."
   I raise this today because a friend of mine died of a sudden heart attack yesterday.  He was 64 years old.  I knew Mark for a long time.  He was a man who loved his four kids and his grandchildren, who served as the sole caregiver for his special needs adult son who now serves on staff at school with me, and gave a lot of his own time to help others fix this or fix that.  I am sad.  I feel for his children.  I understand that feeling of sudden loss because it brings me back to the death of my own father.  But Mark aligned himself with the above verses and lived those out in a blue-collar sort of way.  His security is sure.
   Why talk about this now?  Because I am thinking about it.  This disease I have has caused me to consider some of these things even when I don't want to.  After all, I will survive, right?  I will kick this disease.  I will live a long life.  Really?  Will I?  While that is my plan, I have no guarantee and neither does any other living soul on earth.  But it does force me to ask myself, "Am I ready?"  I am wrestling with this notion of being crucified with Christ and what that entails.  I want Christ to shine through me in everything I do.  I want to know him even more and begin to understand the depth of his love that allows me to recognize the grace he offers when he accepts me as one of his.  I want to do this well so that when I die no one can doubt where my allegiance is.  Jesus told his disciples, "In my Father's house are many rooms.  I go there to prepare a place for you...I am the way, the truth, and the life.  Nobody comes to the Father except through me" (John 14). While this is not politically sensitive and can be considered exclusive (two considerations that are not acceptable by the common thought of the day), I claim it to be true and therefore I am called to follow through with my life on this side of heaven to make this a part of me.
   If nothing else, death must cause introspection.  Grief brings that realization that I have no control on what I hold so dear.  Loss demands that I evaluate life all over again.  This is one legacy that Mark commands each of us to do.  Do it now.  Think about these things.  Mark, Dana, my father, and a host of those who have gone before us are reminding us of the importance of this.  Thank you, Jesus, that life is not over when life on earth is complete.  Teach me what it means to be crucified with you so that I can live on this side of death with the joy and hope of a secure future.  Amen.