I went to bed early last night, before my daughter Tess and her friend Vivian were finished cake-making in the kitchen. While lying in bed, I heard laughter and joy from these two amateur bakers. When I came into the kitchen this morning, I found a kitchen that was...um...destroyed. Just about every kitchen gadget and baking pan had been utilized the night before and most were coated in a thick hardening purple plaster that I assumed was meant to be frosting. Then I saw it -- the project of the evening -- on the table. It sat there and almost seemed to have its own light emanating from it (I might have even heard violin music at that very moment, but I am not certain). The cake. It was indeed disguised in thick purple frosting that oozed off the plate and over the table. The mere weight of the frosting seemed to collapse the cake itself in places. I don't think Gordon Ramsay would have approved of the results. It was all simply a beautiful mess.
I am forty-eight hours away from having my stem cells harvested. I have a hard time sleeping at night now that I have this new catheter in the right side of my chest. It has one end that goes up just under the skin into a vein in my neck while the other end has three different leads dangling out that look like they could be attached to any one of a number of random power cords that we have in our house. The whole shebang is anchored in the middle by a silver-dollar-sized clamp and it is covered by a windowed bandage. This will be a part of me for a while. I still also have my port from chemo days in the left side of my chest and currently I am receiving three injections each morning of neuprogen into my belly to aggravate my stem cells enough to make them want come out of my bones and play with the other blood cells. I am a mess. But I too am a beautiful mess.
I love those moments when obvious examples of truth just rise up and slap me in the face. The kitchen is now cleaned up, my body is currently being cleaned up (a bit more slowly than the kitchen), and my spirit is under the constant process of being made holy. This is sanctification. It is good to have a clean kitchen again. It will be wonderful to have a clean body again. But all the messes of this world seem like minor details in light of the great love our Savior has for us and the joy we have because of his enduring promises. If allowed, he is willing to clean us up and present us as perfect. Each of us is a beautiful mess, but we don't need to stay that way.
"At one time we too were foolish, disobedient,
deceived, and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures.
We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another.
But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared,
he saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done,
but because of his great mercy." Titus 3:3-5
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