The Verdict Is In

   When this journey with cancer began back in October, I was unaware of the emotional ups and the downs that would accompany this adventure.  I didn't understand the overwhelming sense of exhaustion that came with the challenge until I lived through it.  I didn't appreciate the chemo-brain confusion until I experienced it for myself.  I had no way of predicting the severity of the nausea and the discomfort brought on by the chemotherapy.  But then when the good news rolls around, I cannot adequately convey to you the excitement of it all that I am feeling, the relief of returning to health, and the opportunity to look ahead without considering cancer as the first factor in my decision making.
   At the meeting with my bone marrow transplant team today, I was given a lot of good news:

• I have been given permission to start the school year at full-time beginning on Monday, August 28 (this was the best news of all for me).
• I no longer have to wear a mask and gloves (and therefore I will have to come up with new ways to scare children).
• I do not have to meet with the transplant team again for another four to six months (we had been meeting every other week). Instead I have been handed back to my regular oncologist ("my regular oncologist"-- who would have thought I would ever use such a term in my lifetime!?).
• I do not have any dietary restrictions (other than my own taste buds and their refusal to appreciate different foods).

   There are still a few issues to consider and that we will have to monitor:

• The cat scan shows a spot under my arm that is suspicious, but that spot has been present during each of the three scans I have undergone and evidently it is not changing.  "We will just have to watch it" is the official protocol for dealing with it.
• My hemoglobin is still lower than it should be, but trending in the right direction.  This explains the shortness of breath I experience when exerting myself.  
• I will get tired...really tired...but that is because I have no muscle tone and my hemoglobin is still low (it might also have something to do with the fact that school is starting).  Only time will bring each of these back to acceptable levels.
• The taste buds are still out of whack.  Dairy products leave my mouth feeling like it is coated in some kind of lacquer.  Sweets taste nothing like I remember them tasting but more like the sealant used on cheap stationery.   

   Through this journey, I have learned and I have been blessed.  I have suffered and I have persevered.  I have been supported by a family that loves me and has been patient with me.  I have seen what God's presence in my life can do for my attitude and my outlook.  I have tried to not let my joy diminish because of cancer or chemotherapy.  I have been encouraged by people whose health crises are far worse than mine.  I have been frustrated with complainers who have nothing to complain about.  I have been angry about seeing people die from this pit-of-hell disease.  But for now, rather than getting too philosophical about all I have learned and seen and experienced, I think today is a day to just be thankful and to smile.  Good news has a way of making one feel good.  I feel good.  Thank you, God.