Two Trains

   We each have experienced moments like I am living through right now.  Every so often life offers up those times when joy and frustration collide.  It is so difficult to prepare for the times when good news and bad news seem to drive into each other like two trains on the same track.  One never seems to have the warning needed to handle it all well.  Some will suggest I am overplaying this all in my mind right now and I am just being overly dramatic, but I get uncomfortable in these moments. Perhaps some time in the near future I will regret what I am writing tonight, but I need the catharsis that writing can provide. Maybe I will feel better when this is over.  I hate it when my joy is challenged by...ah, never mind. Let me explain.
   I am eagerly looking forward to Monday afternoon when I have a graduation ceremony of sorts to attend.  It doesn't know it yet, but the port in my chest is going to have a "coming out" party.  This will signify the somewhat official end of this whole cancer experience.  Sure, I still have to take the meds and have a few doctors appointments, but that stuff is merely window dressing, formalities, minor hoops to jump through as though I were a trained dog.  After eleven months of having this appliance accessorize my chest, eleven months since the poking into this target area started, I will be excited, even honored, to have this thing leave me.  Soon I will be able to hear the word "port" and think about ships and sailors instead of chemo and cancer.
   But then I hear another train coming from the other direction.  Today my wife and I endured another round of one-sided blather from our son on Facebook who is choosing to publicly air his complaints about us and the choices we have made in establishing and upholding our household.  We try to ignore the criticism, but it is still hurtful.
   Enough.  It's not worth it.  I have joy.  Tonight I choose to not let it be tainted, especially by someone I love.  Joy and frustration have collided before.  They will collide again.  It is up to me to decide who comes out on top.  I get to pick who wins.  Tonight, I choose joy.  See you soon, Port.  I am eager to be at your coming out party.